“And now, lot 147B, a piece of cinema memorabilia. We have here the codpiece worn by David Bowie in his 1986 film ‘Labyrinth’. Now who will open the bidding at…”
“It’s a fake.”
“We have had it authenticated by the most reliable sources.”
“It’s a fake. ‘E didn’ wear one.”
“What do you mean?”
“‘E didn’ bleedin’ wear one. That were all ‘im.”
After a stunned silence that permeated the room. “We will take this under advisement. In light of this information, we will withdraw this lot for the time bein
The monster in my closet has been with me as long as I can remember. Even when I moved he (or she, I have never asked) moved with me. It wasn’t a possession that the monster was tied to. He was there when I moved to Japan with nothing of mine but the clothes on my back which I had to burn. But that is another story.
So my monster, I call him Mitch for no particular reason, has always been there. When I was small, I used to sneak peanut butter sandwiches into my room at night to feed him. He was quite polite and finished them. I later found out that peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth which was quite uncomfortable. Tuna fish wo
Many Happy Returns of the Day! by Plaugh, literature
Literature
Many Happy Returns of the Day!
what an horrible end to an awful week. at least the only thing i have left to decide is whether to take off more than my shoes before i drop into bed. key. door. open.
SURPRISE.
ooohhhh nooooooooo
FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
quick smile or this may never end.
FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
who the hell did this to me?
FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FE-EL-LOOOOWWW
if they keep singing i am going into the bedroom, getting my glock out of the dresser and opening fire
WHICH NO-BO-DY CA-AN DE-NYYYYY
it seems to be over thank god
SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH
oh god
“What a surprise. Thank you all. I am touched. Thank you.”
The Forest hummed. The tune was indistinct. It moved up and down the scale with leaps, glissandos, and sustained notes. A veritable symphony of sound with no direction or intention. It just was.
Sitting there under the trees, the green dappled light seeping through the foliage to my face. I considered the music. It was peaceful, happy and restful. I loved this place. Sitting here rejuvenates me. The cares of the week melt away. I can find my center.
This week, it is particularly necessary. Between the dog throwing up on the new Persian rug and the fruit deliveries coming in a sweltering heat to a broken down refrigeration unit. They said it
It began, as such things do, in a perfectly normal and uninteresting manner. He was coming home from working in the fields when a bright light blinded him. He lost consciousness.
When he woke, it was in a cold, hard place with a dim, green tinted light all around him. He found he could not move. He was breathing regularly but his body would not respond to the sense of panic filling his brain. He could not get a deep enough breath to be able to voice the scream he had building. That frightened him further and he could do nothing to alleviate it.
Finally, he resolved not to let whatever it was to defeat him. He relaxed into the steady in and
Despite a few fatalities, everyone agreed that Mindy's first cookout was a roaring success. The Fire Fighters were quite appreciative of the bratwurst. The Police were particularly fond of the potato salad. The County Coroner enjoyed the sweet tea, a delicacy she hadn’t had since moving from Georgia.
Now some would argue that finding skeletons when digging a pit for an Hawaiian pig-bake would put a damper on the day. But Mindy had a special way about her that made anything seem to not be such a bad thing. Her eternal cheer and optimism sparkled brilliantly and pulled everyone around her up.
God, I hated her.
You have to understand th
Come. Gather around. Hear the tale of Elssbet, the first Dragon Speaker.
She was born in a village at the foot of Ktssk’s mountain. Her mother died birthing her so she grew up with only her father. He was a wood gatherer for the village and so was not at his home most of the time. She had a caretaker, a woman with five other children. This woman made sure she was fed and, as an infant, cleaned. Once Elssbet had grown to a point where she could mostly take care of herself, the woman left her alone to focus on her own children.
Thus Elssbet grew up with no parent. She was shunned by the other children of the village. She was utterly alo
Welcome to the church of the Celestial Toroid. We want you to feel welcome and offer you our most sacred ambrosia. But, before you partake, you must know what it represents in the Great Cosmic Roundness.
Observe the color. The shade of beige is precisely the average shade of the visible universe. The clear sugar coating is the thin veneer of matter that covers and shapes the roiling chaos of energy that is all about us.
And the shape, Oh, the shape, it is the epitome of form. Round, curved back upon itself like life in its eternal cycles of being. Empty in the middle, reflecting the sense of loneliness we all feel in our absolute isolation
GRRFXX was sitting in his den reading the latest manuscript submitted to his magazine, Underplane Monthly. It wasn’t bad, as so many of them were. It just needed a couple of tweeks and one section needed rewriting, but that was about it. He was about to go back over it and write some notes when the amulet on his chest buzzed.
It wasn’t his. It belonged to an imp named Plgx from the mailroom who was spending this night with a rather comely succubus from reception bringing their brood into the plane. He never really knew what she saw in him, but he just shrugged it off as a “no accounting for taste” situation.
In any e